I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
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