I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
A bitchslap is in order.
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
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