this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
Randomize
