I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Randomize
