my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
it was like eating out sand paper
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
