I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize