you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
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