I tried to use my car keys to open my door
I just started a sentence with yellow.
that's an acceptable place to lick
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
