Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
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