i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
Randomize
