if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
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