brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
Randomize
