I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
Randomize
