is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
