Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
Randomize
