like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
Randomize
