Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
Randomize
