how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
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