last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
Oh god it's open bar.
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
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