i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
Randomize
