We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
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