Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
Randomize
