Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
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i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
Stop inviting me to your birth control calender reminders...my job is to test its effectiveness, not know its schedule
Lmao sorry
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
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