oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
The best revenge is premature balding
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Randomize