Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
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