Listen the way I know if I'm drunk is if I have stage fright in the pisser if I do then I'm not drunk! And I definitely still do right now!
We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
Randomize
