i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
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