Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
Randomize
