Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Randomize
