If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
Best friends brother. Beat that.
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
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