the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
Reggie can tackle my bush.
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
Randomize
