Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
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Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
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If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
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