he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Randomize
