Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
Randomize
