are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
My butt remains clenched, sir.
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
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