we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
Randomize
