It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
Randomize
