where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
Oh god it's open bar.
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Randomize
