remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize
