if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
