Ambien. No doubt about it.
I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
Randomize
