For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
Randomize
