did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
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