my vag is so smooth its legendary
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
3 2 1 whiskey
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
Randomize