So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
It's 1:26 and I have already found 5 fruit flies between 3 separate glasses of wine. This is supposed to be a summer problem. Fucking global warming.
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.