FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
29 Of The Most Hilarious And Embarrassing Walks Of Shame Ever
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
These 23 Dudes Get Giddy From Dem Titties
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.