Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
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