You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
How dare sober me try to tell drunk me I can't eat the applesauce in the fridge! Stingy bitch IM EATING THE APPLESAUCE! you can tell sober me I said that.
Randomize
