Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
never play flip cup with pint glasses
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
The air taste purple.
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