The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Randomize