My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
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