I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
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