guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
Randomize
