garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
you win again, gameday.
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
Randomize
