dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
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