Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
Randomize
